I was living in a way of filling the gaps based on what others wanted. They want X so I do that or they want Y and I don’t know that so I learn that. I was living in a reactionary based state. This only led me to being more disconnected to what my internal forces were asking of me.

When I began to work with CoKreative she asked so much more of me.. in her pure state, her wholeness, love, abundance – in this pure energy of creation she asked me to align to her. And in me saying yes to creating with her required so much more of me than I expected…

I dove into moving out of my comfort zone, which led my ego to go completely nuts.. so much so I thought I was losing it. My internal nervous system was shot, I was terrified because I felt my sense of security was being ripped from beneath my feet. I was moving from living externally (focused on others needs, and what others think of me) to living from a place of inner purpose and internal driven. This caused me to question my values, my worth, who am I, why am I here.. all of those deep seeded life questions.

I had my buttons pushed sooo hard that my unravelling led me to have to disconnect from everything, to pause and reflect on what I really want.

For much of my life, I have lived to meet the needs of others.. even when it didn’t align with my needs. I gave to others even if on the inside I was crying.. I said yes when I wanted to say no too many times it became my default.. a setting that become incredibly challenging to change.

When we make a conscious choice to want to align to that which is calling us, to that which wants to be created through us.. we are choosing to step into change, to be challenged, to be shown all the ways we need to let go.. especially to control. Our creations are showing us how to align to love, to abundance, to life itself in its purest form.

Now we are human, and although sometimes we know we are doing things that are not good for us, or that don’t feel quite right.. this is a process but we can still continue to show up and ask to be shown the next step. It is in our willingness and courage to do so, that invites in the energy and support for us move closer into alignment to that which we are here to create.

If you have been choosing to do this on your own, you have been going against the natural rhythm of the universe, of life itself. Our ecosystem is based on and supported by each living microcosm – each dependant on the others energy and contribution. A river can’t flow, let alone even be a river without the air, the rocks, the dirt, the soil.. it requires a certain alchemy for it flourish and take on a life of itself.

As we endeavour to live a purposeful life, one where we are anchored in our gifts and our knowing, living from a place of wholeness within, we can be reminded that we are never alone.. as nature reflects back to us we know that our creations are here to support us.. that there are others in our own little ecosystem that are waiting to come together so a vision can take hold and become rooted in this reality.

It is up to us to listen, to tune into the wisdom of our creations and be shown, who, what is needed for us and our visions to come to life.

My father is the biggest teacher for me in this. His ability to purely surrender to that which wanted to be created through him… required even more then I am sure he was aware of. It required him to let go of A LOT, to step out of his ego, to surrender the need to know, to trust deeply (and I mean deeply) that you don’t even question or doubt your next move.

Now, his creation has its own journey, to which he may or may not know. But from my perspective, he had done nothing short of be an example of the dedication, the courage, the persistent, the willingness, and inner drive to be able to birth creation. This journey isn’t for everyone.. only for those that are being called to the plate and are brave enough to face the current and let it flow.

Even in my own challenges in working with CoKreative I have wanted to give up. I have wanted to walk away. Although those were surface feelings, I knew that this calling was something I couldn’t ignore or walk away from. And she may take years to be what she wants to be but I am willing and dedicate to see it through, otherwise what am I here for? If not to surrender to creation itself and allow it to move through me.

Our bodies are our vessels in this human life experience. We use them as a means to survive and adapt to this climate and culture. Our souls become the vessels for our creations.. and in the merging of the soul and body we get to anchor our creations into this reality. Yes, we can bypass the body and create just from the soul space.. but some are being asked to embody our creations which means working and merging both our vessels so that we can be a greater carrier of creation. This space becomes larger, and our ability and capacity to hold creational energy grows. And by doing so we continue to open up to the infinite possibilities and let life be moved through us. And what gift that is.. to feel life, to feel creation in every cell of our body, and the energy that surrounds us.